Striking a Balance ~

Relationships are about
balance. It is that give and
take, that exchange of energy
that allows relationships to
work. Each of us has needs
and desires, be it in a
friendship, a romance, or a
business partnership. We
expect the person to behave
in a certain way – to be
respectful, loving, kind, and
honest, and to honor our
needs and desires. But it is
with those expectations that
we are so often disappointed
or disenchanted. Our friend,
lover, or colleague has been
brought up with a different
compass, their own set of
values and beliefs, very
different from our own, and
sometimes not on the same
map.
Over the years I have
watched many people do
things that in my mind were
just not ok, not acceptable,
and not even remotely on my
personal map. I have heard
the whispers and angry
words full of criticism and
judgment of those who have
done or said something that
was perhaps not honorable,
mature, or professional. But
the fact is, we are all human.
We are neither perfect nor
infallible. And when it comes
down to it, I think we all
really try to do the best we
can. But with so many
variables and so much
history and past experience,
we often fall short of
someone else’s mark. Maybe
we sometimes even fall short
of our own. I told a friend
recently who was feeling very
hurt and having an issue
with someone that,
“everyone does the best they
can but their best just may
not be right for you.” And I
think that is the five hundred
pound gorilla in the room so
to speak. What do you do
when it is clear that a
relationship or situation is
out of balance, is not
working, and is unhealthy for
you? The easy answer is to
disengage, or erect some
major boundaries. The real
answer is you must find a
healthy balance. A
relationship, any relationship
must have that equilibrium.
And it is up to you to either
find or create that stability,
or accept that it is just not
possible to achieve that
balance with a particular
person on your map. …read more