Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are
retired, and Mrs. Fenton
insists her husband go
with
her to Wal-Mart, but he gets
bored with all the shopping
trips. He
prefers
to get in and get out, but
Mrs. Fenton loves to
browse.
Here’s a letter sent to Mrs.
Fenton——
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months,
your husband has been
causing quite a
commotion in
our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and
may ban both of you
from
our stores. We have
documented all incidents on
our video
surveillance
equipment. All complaints
against Mr. Fenton are
listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has
done while his spouse was
shopping in
Wal-Mart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of
condoms and randomly put
them in
people’s
carts when they weren’t
looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm
clocks in Housewares to go
off at
5-minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of
tomato juice on the floor
leading to the
restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an
employee and told her in an
official
tone,
“Code 3 in Housewares” …
and watched what
happened.
5. August 4: Went to the
Service Desk and asked to
put a bag of M&M’s
on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a
CAUTION – WET FLOOR sign
to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a
tent in the camping
department and told
other
shoppers he’d invite them
in if they’ll bring pillows
from the bedding
department.
8. September 23: When
clerks ask if they can help
him, he begins to
cry
and asks, “Why can’t you
people just leave me
alone?”
9. October 4: Looked right
into the security camera,
used it as a
mirror,
and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While
handling guns in the
hunting department, asked
the
clerk if he knows where the
antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted
around the store
suspiciously loudly
humming
the
“MissionImpossible”
theme.
12. December 6: In the auto
department, practiced his
“Madonna look”
using
different sized funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a
clothing rack and when
people browse
through
yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
14. December 21: When an
announcement came over
the loud speaker, he
assumed the fetal position
and screamed, “NO! NO!
It’s those voices
again!!!!”
And last, but not least …..
15. December 23: Went into
a fitting room, shut the
door, waited a
while,
then yelled very loudly,
“There is no toilet paper in
here!”
Regards,
Wal-Mart …read more
