At Sunday church the local Vicar
explains that he must move on to a
larger congregation that will pay him
more.
There is a hush within the
congregation. No one wants him to
leave because he is so popular.
Fred Smith, who owns several car
dealerships, stands up and proclaims:
If the Vicar stays, I will provide him
with a new Holden every year and his
wife with a Honda mini-van to
transport their children!’
The congregation sighs in
appreciation and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur
and publican, stands and says,
If the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll
personally double his salary and
establish a foundation to guarantee
private secondary school education of
his children!’
More sighs and loud applause.
Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and
announces with a smile,
If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.’
There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
‘Mrs. Jones, you’re a wonderful and
holy lady, whatever possessed you to
say that?’
Agnes’s 90-year old husband, Joe, is
now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand
and shaking his head from side to
side, while his wife replies:
‘Well, I just asked my husband how
we could help, and he said, ‘ “Fuck
him'” …read more