20 Signs You’re Getting Old……… 20. Your houseplants are alive, and you can…

20 Signs You’re Getting
20. Your houseplants are alive, and
you can’t smoke any of them.
19. Having sex in a single bed is out
of the question.
18. You keep more food than beer in
the fridge.
17. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not
when you go to bed.
16. You hear your favourite song in a
15. Jeans and a t-shirt no longer
qualify as “dressed up.”
14. You’re the one calling the police
because those annoying kids next
door won’t turn down the stereo.
13. Your car insurance goes down and
your car payments go up.
12. You feed your dog tinned dog
food instead of last nights takeaway
11. Sleeping on the settee makes
your back hurt.
10. You take naps.
9. Pictures then dinner is the whole
night instead of the beginning of
8. Eating a curry at 2:00 a.m. would
severely upset, rather than settle,
your stomach.
7. You go to the chemist’s for
ibuprofen and Gaviscon, not condoms
and pregnancy tests.
6. A £2.99 bottle of wine is no longer
“pretty good stuff.”
5. You actually eat breakfast food at
breakfast time.
4. “I just can’t drink the way I used
to” replaces “I’m never going to drink
that much again.”
3. 90% of the time you spend in front
of a computer is for real work.
2. When you find out your friend’s
missus is pregnant you congratulate
him instead of asking “Oh fuck, what
And the number one sign you are
getting old is:
1. You read this entire list looking
desperately for one sign that doesn’t
apply to you and can’t find one. …read more    

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